The optimistic wardrobe

Let me tell you, my thinner self has much better taste than I do!

When I was looking for something to wear this morning, I ventured downstairs to my overflow closet to look through all my suits that are not in my current rotation to see if there was something I'd overlooked that may fit now.  I'm dreadfully bored with my wardrobe.

What I found was suit upon suit upon suit that is *way* too small for me.  I think I bought every bargain suit I found these past 2 years, knowing I'd fit in it eventually.  I found a cute pin striped Calvin Klein number, that I'm DYING to wear.  I think I'm about 80 lbs away, but we'll see.

These suits are much nicer than the suits I have now.  It's so limiting being overweight.  Yes, I've been fortunate to be able to shop in "normal" stores since I lost the largest portion of my weight, but what looks good on a big girl is more about hiding, positioning, accentuating the not-as-negative (rather than the positive that seems no where to be found!), comfort and overall coverage.  I cannot WAIT to be able to dress fashionably.  I think I have a good sense of style, but you would NEVER know it.  LOL

For now, I will continue to drape myself with the hideous smocks I've come to know, but I have a feeling that thin me will be doing a LOT of shopping.  I'm going to need a second job.

First day back to the gym

I jumped out of bed this morning at 5:30 AM and headed to the gym with every intention of biking the 13.1 miles each of the biggest loser contestants rode this past week.  I wanted to see how quickly I could do it.  I think the first team finished in just under an hour, and others were closer (or beyond) the 2 hour mark.

I was determined to be faster than the first place team, naturally.  I'm not sure why I thought it would be so much easier for me than it would be for them.  After all, I haven't worked out regularly in a while, and with my knee injury and recovering from pneumonia, it would stand to reason I'm not at my peak physical condition right now.

I started off pedaling what I thought was a pretty good pace, but I realized that I would never finish under an hour at that pace, so I quickly went much faster - as fast as my legs could physically go, and that had me at the 4 minute mile mark...on a bike.  I don't think that's very good.  I'm looking forward to the spring when I can bike out in the real world.  Maybe Darcy and I can take a long weekend somewhere south of here where there is no snow to go biking sooner, rather than later. 

I quickly realized I had forgotten to use my inhaler before starting, and my lungs had some trouble warming up.  If I got worse, I would have just gone to the locker room to get it, but I didn't want to stop if I didn't have to, so I kept going.  All the fluid in my chest was loosening up, and I started coughing a lot, but after a few minutes, it settled down a bit.

I was riding and riding and riding, and on my way to finish the 13.1 miles at about the 50 minute mark, if I kept the pace up.  It was harder at first, but the longer I went, the easier it got.  Around the 4 mile mark, my hip started to bother me quite a bit.  I've been doing exercises with it in physical therapy, so it was tender to begin with.  My PT told me to use the exercise bike, but the second I start to feel pain, I have to stop.  Pain will set my injury back, and we don't want that.  I figured, it was pain in my hip, so it didn't matter that much, so I kept going.

At the five mile mark, my knee started hurting, and my hip was really hurting at that point.  I tried adjusting my position into several different ways, but no luck.  I had to stop.  I ended up biking 5.5 miles in 21 minutes.  Depending on what source you look at, I burned quite a few calories in that short amount of time.  I'm a big girl, so biking at that pace is quite a calorie burner.

I came home and iced my hip and my knee for 10 minutes each.  I'm going to talk to my PT about my challenge when I see her next on Monday.  I'm hoping she has some tips because I want to do the 13.1 miles asap...but not at the cost of an injury.

Working out in the AM really gets your heart pumping.  It's a nice wake up.  I'm going to try to do morning workouts for now, to see how that goes.  I'd like to try swimming tonight, as long as my knee and hip aren't still sore then.  We'll see how it goes.

3 days of the Biggest Loser challenge have been completed.  We are on day 4 today.  I've been averaging 600-700 calories per day, because I just had my fill and I hadn't been exercising, but today I'm going to try to eat some soft "real" foods, and increase my food intake a bit.  I made some lean, low fat tuna for lunch, so I'll have that plain, possibly with a few whole grain crackers.  For breakfast, I'm sticking with the shake I've been having, and I'm not sure what the plan is for dinner yet.

I hope Tuesday's weigh in is a good one!

Next steps

I got the results of my xray.  I have a pretty good case of arthritis as a result of my injuries.  I did some research, and I think that weight loss will have a huge impact on my knee.  It's the single worst thing for the joints - being overweight.  My MD is giving me a cortisone shot to help jump start my recovery.  Now that she has seen my x-ray, I'm going to make sure it's still okay for me to be on track to complete a mini-triathlon this summer.  I think it should be fine.  I'm planning to be down another 60 lbs before I complete the first one, but I realize that's ridiculously optimistic of me.  That happens.

I had my second PT appointment today.  I think it's going to be a really good thing for me.  It's a bit of a commitment since I have to do the exercises 1-2 times/day and go for 2 PT visits each week.  I just can't wait to get back to the gym.

My PT put me on the exercise bike today, just for 3 minutes, and she had to tell me to slow down, reminding me this was about healing my knee, not losing weight.  I'm dying to go to the gym and do the 13 miles on the bike like the biggest loser contestants did.  I want to see how hard it is.

Anyway, hopefully this weekend I can start working out.  I actually think tomorrow AM may be a good time for me to go to the gym before work to do a little bike workout.  We'll see how I feel in the AM.

I still haven't gotten on the scale.  That shows more self control than any of the dieting.  LOL

I hope my fellow contestants are doing well!!

Diet Palooza

Yesterday on The View, Whoopie Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd interviewed several diet "gurus" to find the best diet for 2010.  I didn't catch the whole thing because I was in a medical office, waiting to have my knee x-rayed, but I caught a good bit.  One program involved cutting out all sugar, and selecting a lettuce wrapped bacon cheese burger with fries over fruit and yogurt.  Another advocated for butter, milk and eggs to even out your hormones, which really drove a diet - not food and exercise.  We heard from the cookie diet MD, and from an at home cleanse system. 

The cookie diet MD said that for a system to work, it has to work fast.  If people don't lose a ton of weight fast, they will lose interest and they won't stick with it.  That's an interesting statement.  He's an MD, I'm sure he's read all the research we have that shows that the slower you lose the weight, the longer you keep it off.  I believe that's true in most cases.  If your body drops the weight fast, it will put it back on just as fast, or faster.  If you gradually lose weight over time, incorporating long term changes into your life, the change will last longer.

I do think he has a point, though.  When we see TV shows like the Biggest Loser, which I caught the second half of last night, and we see people losing 20-30 (and more) lbs their first week on a diet, our expectations get skewed.  How can a new dieter feel happy with a 3 lb loss when they just saw someone else lose 23?  It's a tough call.  Also, seeing the weight drop so fast is very encouraging.  Who wouldn't stick with a diet that gave you double digit losses each week?

I think if you can lose weight fast, under medical supervision, and you learn to make lifelong changes during that time, more power to you.  I'm not convinced it's the best or safest way, but I can see how it keeps people interested.  Watching the show last night, I thought that I should just take a week off or a month off and work out 7 hours/day to jump start my weight loss...but then I thought that's a crazy plan.  Every personal trainer and MD I have ever talked to or read in my entire life (most of which has been spent trying to lose weight) has said that exercise should be moderate.  Working out more than an hour a day is counterproductive, and unless you are actively taking in fuel (calories) during your extended workout, you will start to burn away muscle, giving way to fatigue, possible injuries, causing damage to your immune system, etc...  Is that not true?

I can't let a television show, with every incentive to use smoke and mirrors to get that WOW from the audience, convince me of something all of my instincts and research and information from experts have told me all along.  I haven't watched the show long enough to know if they ever show you a full day on the ranch.  That is what I'd like to see.  Exactly what are they eating, exactly what "supplements" are they giving, exactly what work out are they doing, etc...  Do they ever show that?  If not, why not? 

I think the show sets unrealistic guidelines.  That's obvious.  I think they hide too much behind the scenes, and while it can be helpful if you know enough to weed through the sensationalism (and tricks) to get the good fitness and nutrition tips, I worry that people, especially young people, at home will give up on their weight loss programs if they don't deliver the results they see on the Biggest Loser, or even the results that are promised by the weight loss "guru's" on shows like The View.

I wish I had started making a documentary of my weight loss journey before I had lap band surgery, so I could show the things I did to get the results I did, and the things I did or didn't do to gain some weight back in the middle of my journey.  I'm going to start now, though.  I'm going to film my journey of training for the sprint triathlon.  I'll talk about the foods I'm eating, and the calories I consume each day.  I'll show my work outs, and my weekly weigh in results.  It will be a realistic picture of an agressive weight loss journey, of someone who had lap band surgery as well.  Obviously, it's not going to be a journey that everyone can relate to, but I think it's good to show other journeys as well, to present a more holistic picture.

I'm grabbing my camera now.

Day One: A review

Yup, that about sums it up. 

I kid.  It wasn't quite that bad.

For starters, I will share with you that I spent a good portion of the day battling hunger pains.  It didn't help that my PMS was apparently peaking.  Also, I had a fill scheduled for last night, so I couldn't eat anything after lunch.  I kept my calories to about 700, which is low, but again, I couldn't eat anything after lunch, so I got quite a few in, if you look at it that way. 

I had a sugar free carnation instant breakfast with a banana blended in for breakfast.  I actually enjoy that quite a bit.  For lunch, I had a low fat and low calorie progresso soup, and I added some garbanzo beans in for more fiber and substance.  For snacks, I had one cracker, a sugar free popsicle and a sugar free fudgsicle at night.  I also had a piece of hard candy while I was waiting for the MD.  There you have it.  Today, I'm on liquids, so my diet will pretty much be the same as yesterdays.  Only I'll have tomato soup instead of progresso, and I'll have 1 or 2 more instant breakfast servings.

I did some research on exercising while getting over pneumonia, and I read in several places that yoga or pilates are a good place to start.  It's not as challenging on your cardiovascular system, and it may even help with respiratory issues.  I figured - it can't hurt to try.  I actually have a wonderful DVD collection of fitness programs, so I went to my collection and pulled out a yoga instructional I hadn't done in a while, and I did about 20 minutes of it.  I felt a little weak, so I stopped, but I honestly felt like I could breathe better after!  My body felt more healthy than it had in weeks as well.

Last night, I met with my lap band surgeon.  There was a time when I avoided making an appointment with him because I hadn't lost any weight since the last time I saw him.  That time was long ago, and I haven't seen him since then.  I kept wanting to lose weight before I saw him, and before I knew it, I was up 40 lbs.  He was not impressed!

He greeted me by saying how good I looked, and I thanked him, and then quickly alerted him to the fact that I had gained quite a bit since I last saw him.  He had me jump on the scale, and he became somewhere between annoyed and angry with me.  I know he has a lot of lap band patients that haven't had success and that annoys him.  They expect the band to do all the work, and they don't watch what they eat, exercise, etc...  That is not me.

I gave him a very brief overview of what brought me to this point, and he asked why he should give me a fill if I'm not active in the program?  I hadn't seen him in over a year, I haven't been to any of the meetings, I've gained 40 lbs - he doesn't treat people who aren't active in the program.

At that point, he had to leave the room because he got a phone call, and I'm very glad for that.  I wasn't feeling well from my pneumonia, I was tired from the trip down there, as his office is an hour away, I had to wait over an hour to see him from my scheduled appointment time, and I was already feeling really bad about the fact that I was up all the weight - I didn't need him making me feel worse.  I could feel my face getting hot, and I didn't want to cry.  I had a few tears in my eyes, and I remembered that Darcy said drinking water can help you from crying sometimes.  I quickly drank 3 glasses of water and I composed myself, planning on what I was going to say when he returned.  For a quick moment, I thought about just leaving and never coming back, but I quickly dismissed that notion as emotional and foolish.

When he came back into the room, before he could speak, I asked him if he thinks it's possible for this to work outside of his designed program?  He asked me what I meant.  I told him that I did not find value in his monthly meetings, and since I have moved, I can't possibly commit to going to them.  I had an unusually terrible year health wise, and it's not the norm.  I have my own program that is a lot more intensive than his program, in that I blog daily, I work out whenever I'm healthy enough to, I am a part of online groups to support lap band issues and weight loss, I'm training for a mini triathlon, my friends and I are doing a biggest loser contest together - my health and weight loss are at the center of my universe right now, and I need a fill to take it to the next level.

His demeanor changed completely, and it seemed as though he felt bad for taking a hard line with me initially.  He said of course he'd give me a fill, but he just has to make sure that people aren't abusing the tool.  He understands that I can't go to the monthly meetings, but I just need to make sure to check in with him every 6 months, and I said I could do that.  He ended up giving me 1.5 times what he normally gives me so I'd have a good amount of restriction for a while, and also since I won't be seeing him for a while.

So now I feel like I have a lap band again.  I think I have more restriction than ever.  It's taken me an hour to get through my carnation instant breakfast shake - probably because I thickened it with a banana.  That's never been a problem before, but this is the lap band I've heard about from the other people I've met online.  My MD is always very conservative with fills, so other people would talk about how they could only eat a quarter cup of food and then they were full, and that never happened to me, but I hope it does now.  I need that kind of jump start!

I have no idea if I lost any weight yesterday.  I flipped my scale over as a reminder not to weigh myself until next Tuesday AM.  I don't know if I can go that long, but I'm going to try.

I had my first physical therapy session this morning.  I loved the PT I'm going to be working with!  She is a doll.  I'll be seeing her 2x/week for the next month, and then we'll take it from there.  I got the impression that she thought my knee was quite bad from the faces and noises she made when she was examining it.  LOL - let's hope we can fix this!  My left knee aches a bit from physical therapy, so I'm not going to attempt to do yoga today.

I actually feel quite weak from just that little bit of running around and activity this AM, but I'm going to go into the office for a few hours today for the first time since I got back from ATL.  My thoughtful boss has made arrangements for me to work in an office that's right near a close parking spot to the door.  My usual office is a little bit of a hike from the parking lot, so I'd have to be in the cold air too long. 

Hopefully today will go well, and if I'm feeling well enough tonight, I may try to go swimming, but right now, I'm guessing I'll spend the evening resting.

Good luck to my competitors - I'd love to hear how you are doing after the first full day!

Top Ten Winter Dieting Tips, by Me. :)

10.  Embrace the root. 
       In the bitter cold winter months, nature provides us with the food our bodies are designed to need to sustain the cold months.  Embrace the bounty of nature, and reach for the root vegetables.  Your body will thank you.  Packed with essential nutrients, carrots, sweet potatoes, parsnips, beetroot and squash will help you fend of disease, work as natural antibiotics, increase iron, provide natural sugars to keep you going through the shortest of days and the coldest ones too, boost your energy and keep your heart healthy.  Yep, they do all that.  Since they grow this time of year, chances are, your local market has bought them locally, so they are a green alternative to the asparagus being shipped in from halfway across the country as well. 

9.  Feed your soul, not your body.
     With less to do in the winter months, we tend to graze.  And graze...and graze...  It starts with the holiday season.  Thin people really don't gain weight or noticeable weight over the holidays, but overweight people do.  A thin person may gain half a lb.  A heavy person may gain more like 5 or 10.  Rather than getting right back on track, it's easy to let the snowball roll, until all of the sudden we notice it's spring, and we have been gaining weight the entire time.  Next time you are bored, tucked into your nice warm house away from the cold, don't reach for a cookie or a cracker to help fill the time.  Reach for a pen, or a paint brush or a game, or a book.  Channel your boredom or winter doldrums into something productive that you can feel good about once you have completed.

8.  Shake it like a Polaroid picture.
     You heard me!  Shake that booty!  If you aren't inclined to dance, even though you should be...at least when you're alone...kick it old school and sweat to the oldies with Richard Simmons, join a dance style exercise class, or try out one of the DVDs that involve dance techniques.  In addition to a normal, not always thrilling exercise routine, dancing is a great calorie burner that will boost your energy level, confidence and va va voom.  The funky weather may get you down, but if you play that funky music, your hips won't lie, and you'll be starting to feel all right in no time.

7.  Pass the rolls to the left or the right.
     Whatever you do, don't stop for the bread basket, or the rolls you're staring at today will be added to your own tomorrow.  ;)  We crave comfort foods in the cold winter months, and what goes better with comfort foods than warm bread and butter?  Food wise, I honestly don't know the answer to that question, but I know what's better than a perfect meal?  A perfect bum.  :)  Just ask whoever's standing behind you.  They'll agree!  Unless you are having complex multigrain bread, it's really not ever going to be your friend.  Bread is usually just a vessel of empty sugar that likes to usher fat directly to your problem areas, keeping it there forever.  No thank you!  Pass it on.

6.  Make your home a no junk zone.
     Odds are, you don't live alone, and even if you do, you may find junk food creeping in from time to time.  Just because your family members may not be concerned with losing weight, doesn't mean they need junk.  Winter is a time of treats for all, and a moment of hunger or weakness could knock you right off track.  Don't chance it.  Let it be known that anyone daring to disgrace your kitchen with garbage can assume their garbage will end up where it belongs - in the trash!

5.  Eat less, move more.
     This seems like a fairly obvious concept, and it is one that is true no matter what time of year it is, however, in the winter, we are more likely to be even more sedentary than we are during the other
months of the year.  Since we aren't moving as much, we don't need to eat as much.  If your normal diet amount is 1800 calories per day, perhaps 1500 will suffice during the winter months.  What works for you during the active months may not work as well during the winter.  Also, if your work out is normally 30 minutes, 3 times a week.  Try stepping it up to 45 minutes, 4-5 times/week.  The little bit of increase will help you stay ahead of the piling pounds!

4.  Make Time for Tea!
     I can think of no better tea time than the cold winter months.  Sitting by the fire or a warm stove, reading a good book in a comfortable chair, legs stretched out, while sipping on a nice warm cup of tea is a wonderful winter past times.  With so many teas to choose from, many having great medicinal qualities, there is a perfect tea for every person out there.  Looking for a low calorie social thing to do with your friends?  Why not have a tea party.  You can each bring your favorite tea to share.  Warm beverages are also a great trick to stave off pesky hunger pains between meals. 

3.  Take those Vitamins.
     Again, vitamins can be a helpful supplement to a healthy diet all year long, but in the winter, we need more.  We aren't getting the sunlight our bodies need, so it's very common to become vitamin D deficient over the winter months.  In addition to turning to dairy or oily fish or eggs, most people - especially women - need to take a vitamin D.  Don't forget, the body needs vitamin D for calcium to be absorbed properly, so take the two together, and you'll have a perfect match to combat the winter blues.

2.  Away Wii Go!
     Do you miss playing volleyball in the sand?  Running outside?  Pole vaulting?  Playing baseball or tennis outdoors?  Rollerblading or skateboarding or even surfing?  Now you can.  If you haven't tried out Nintendo's Wii game system yet, you are missing out on a lot of calorie burning fun.  Their luau may not be as good as the one you went to in Hawaii, but it's a nice alternative to sludge and snow and sleet.  Not only does the Wii offer lots of interactive, fun games that make you get up and move your body, there are also great exercise programs offered as well, such as Wii Fit, or my personal favorite EA Games Personal Trainer.  Those programs will get your heart pumping and body moving in the comfort of your own home, with the variety you have missed!

1.  Play outside!
     It may be winter out there, but take advantage of it!  If you live in a snowy part of the country, go snow shoeing or cross country skiing.  Both are wonderful opportunities to exercise while taking in the beauty of all things winter.  If you haven't tried skiing or snow boarding, give it a try!  It may not burn as many calories as cross country skiing or snow shoeing, but it will keep you active and help you stay in shape while you have a blast!  Ice skating is also fun for all age groups, and outdoor hockey can be a great cardiovascular work out.  Just remember to dress in layers, and stay warm.  If you catch a cold, you may be benched for a while, and that's not going to help you one bit.  If we have to deal with shoveling it, and driving in it, and dealing with it for months on end, we might as well enjoy it.  So go play in the snow.  Even a snow ball fight burns calories.  ;-)

*****************************************************************
Bonus tips
*Make a healthy soup each weekend that can be an easy, body warming meal in a rush.

*Buy clothes a size smaller than normal.  That way you won't be as comfortable hiding beneath the layers.

*Lose weight with your friends.  Make a contest out of it, and plan to be active and healthy together.

We don't have to continue to pack on the pounds.  Make this winter your thinnest yet by following these easy tips!

Ready...Set...

GO!

Today is day one of our biggest loser competition, and I'm READY to get started.

I left Darcy notes all over the house last night, reminding her to weigh in this morning since she was going to be up earlier than me.  I called the girls this morning to remind them too.  I'm sure my sister won't forget, but I texted her too for good measure. 

I had quite a surprise on the scale this morning.  I was up 9 lbs over last week, and up 6 lbs since just yesterday.  I think all the junk I've been eating since I've been home sick has caught up with me and my completely sedentary life.  I'm officially 9 lbs over my recent high weight.  Ooops.

I don't care.  I know it's just more weight I have to lose all over again, but with my shiny new fill that I'm getting today, my preparation for a sprint triathlon and my biggest loser competition, I'm going to be dropping lbs like Timbaland drops beats in no time.  ;-)

I just hope I don't have a super huge loss the first week (since I'm up 9 fresh new lbs) that discourages my competitors.  I know that I may drop this recent gain fast, but after that, it's going to be tough.  After that, the next 30 lbs are lbs I've gained and lost about 20 times over this past year.  They will be SLOW coming off, but that means I'll just have to try that much harder.

I feel something different today.  Something I haven't felt in a long time.

Hunger.

LOL - I'm actually hungry.  Between being sick and just eating whatever was around me, I haven't been hungry in weeks.  I think it's good to feel hunger from time to time.  We shouldn't eat so much that we are never hungry...that's just too much!

I'm sitting with my feeling of hunger this morning.  It's not too bad - just mild.  I need to get used to the feeling of hunger again, and being okay with it.  Before my surgery, I think something was quite a bit off with my hypothalmus.  The hunger I would feel was raging.  It made me panic and feel quite anxious.  It was physically painful.  I had to eat a lot of food to make that feeling go away, and I think that's one of the reasons I got as big as I did.

Now, when I feel hunger, it's the normal feeling of hunger.  The world isn't ending, and I'm not going to die, my tummy is just a little empty and rumbling.  It's. o.  kay. 

It's good for me to remind myself of this, so that I don't slip back into the trend I was in years ago.  So I'm letting myself sit with my hunger, just for a bit.  Soon I will have a healthy, well balanced breakfast. 

My mind, body and spirit are all quite pleased with me today - I can tell.  I have a feeling of relief washing over me.  No more bad foods, no more weight gain, no more retaining water from using too much sodium, no more ignoring the physical limitations the added weight brings...it's all about my overall health now...again.

I'm back....and now I have a lot of work to do!