Ready...Set...

GO!

Today is day one of our biggest loser competition, and I'm READY to get started.

I left Darcy notes all over the house last night, reminding her to weigh in this morning since she was going to be up earlier than me.  I called the girls this morning to remind them too.  I'm sure my sister won't forget, but I texted her too for good measure. 

I had quite a surprise on the scale this morning.  I was up 9 lbs over last week, and up 6 lbs since just yesterday.  I think all the junk I've been eating since I've been home sick has caught up with me and my completely sedentary life.  I'm officially 9 lbs over my recent high weight.  Ooops.

I don't care.  I know it's just more weight I have to lose all over again, but with my shiny new fill that I'm getting today, my preparation for a sprint triathlon and my biggest loser competition, I'm going to be dropping lbs like Timbaland drops beats in no time.  ;-)

I just hope I don't have a super huge loss the first week (since I'm up 9 fresh new lbs) that discourages my competitors.  I know that I may drop this recent gain fast, but after that, it's going to be tough.  After that, the next 30 lbs are lbs I've gained and lost about 20 times over this past year.  They will be SLOW coming off, but that means I'll just have to try that much harder.

I feel something different today.  Something I haven't felt in a long time.

Hunger.

LOL - I'm actually hungry.  Between being sick and just eating whatever was around me, I haven't been hungry in weeks.  I think it's good to feel hunger from time to time.  We shouldn't eat so much that we are never hungry...that's just too much!

I'm sitting with my feeling of hunger this morning.  It's not too bad - just mild.  I need to get used to the feeling of hunger again, and being okay with it.  Before my surgery, I think something was quite a bit off with my hypothalmus.  The hunger I would feel was raging.  It made me panic and feel quite anxious.  It was physically painful.  I had to eat a lot of food to make that feeling go away, and I think that's one of the reasons I got as big as I did.

Now, when I feel hunger, it's the normal feeling of hunger.  The world isn't ending, and I'm not going to die, my tummy is just a little empty and rumbling.  It's. o.  kay. 

It's good for me to remind myself of this, so that I don't slip back into the trend I was in years ago.  So I'm letting myself sit with my hunger, just for a bit.  Soon I will have a healthy, well balanced breakfast. 

My mind, body and spirit are all quite pleased with me today - I can tell.  I have a feeling of relief washing over me.  No more bad foods, no more weight gain, no more retaining water from using too much sodium, no more ignoring the physical limitations the added weight brings...it's all about my overall health now...again.

I'm back....and now I have a lot of work to do!