Tales from the scale

Out of habit, I weighed myself on Saturday night when I went into the bathroom.  Oops.  It wasn't good news.  Since it was night time, I had to weigh myself again in the AM, and the scale had me between a 6 and 8 lb loss.  I know that's good for 5 days, but considering when I weighed in on Tuesday, I was extremely bloated, up 9 lbs over the week or so before, the fact I just got a fill, and I've been averaging 500-800 calories/day all week after not being good over the holidays, I was really hoping for a big loss this week.

Since I already weighed myself yesterday, and since the number was fluctuating, I weighed myself today, and the scale said I was down 5 lbs.  That's a bit annoying.  I know I haven't really been able to work out since I've been sick, but I've been SO strict with my food consumption, it's just a little discouraging.

I know I've had more sodium than I like to, since I've been living off of soups lately, and I think that's part of the problem, but I also think that somehow, since I lost so much weight so quickly, and then I lost and regained 30 or so lbs off and on, over and over this past year, my body just doesn't function the way it used to.  I don't lose weight the way I used to at all.  I know that happens as we get older, but I can't imagine I'd have that much of a difference from just getting one year older. 

This past year, I've tried losing weight averaging 700, 1000, 1200 and even 1500 calories per day, and I really don't have much luck at any point, which is why I didn't think getting a fill would be my great salvation.   The times I ate very low calories weren't any better than the times I ate double. 

I do love having a fill, because I get full very quickly, so at least it's much easier to avoid temptation, and I probably couldn't overeat if I wanted too, at least without difficulty, so I'm glad I got it, but I really haven't seen any benefit from it yet.  In fact, I think the fact that I couldn't eat normal foods this past week was a detriment, since I ended up eating soups and other softer foods that weren't as good for me. 

At this point, it's probably not realistic for me to lose 60 lbs by my first triathlon as I had hoped, but I can probably plan to lose 2lbs/week, if I work really hard.  It's not very exciting, and it sounds pathetic when you watch the BL weigh ins every week.  It's not going to help me to win my competition, but it will get me to my goal weight (or at least pretty close to it) by 8/19/10 - TJ's predicted goal date for me.  ;-)

I've thought about meeting with a nutritionist, but I know they'll say that a person really shouldn't lose more than 1-2 lbs/week.  I know that, but I think at first, if you have a big chunk of weight to lose, as I do, it's very common and perfectly acceptable to have much bigger losses when you are first starting out.  I guess that's the key for me - I'm not starting out.  I've been actively trying to lose this weight for 2.5 years now, and my body is used to whatever I have to throw at it.

I didn't gain 40 lbs last year because I ate a ton of food.  I gained 20 or so while trying to follow weight watchers, and I gained 10 or so from not always making the right food choices, or using my lap band tool appropriately, and the other 10 just came back of it's own accord it seemed.

I hope that with being able to work out more and more this week, I'll be able to jump start my metabolism, but odds are, this is just going to be an uphill battle for me.

On another note, for those of you who have read Phatband all along, you may recall that when I tried to jump start my weight loss a few months ago, by following the liquid diet program, I ended up having a lot of phantom gallbladder pain, where my gallbladder had been removed this past year.  I did some research, and I learned that often, the gallbladder is removed, but the bile duct is not, so you can feel the same or a similar pain post op.  For some reason, I think it was the drastic change in the foods I was consuming that brought it on because that was the only time it happened to me.

I was worried it would happen again since I had to go on the liquid diet after my fill.  I was doing okay until yesterday afternoon.  The feeling of a sharp pain in my upper abdomen returned.  I took some tylenol and put a heating pad on it, so it took the edge off a bit, but I felt really sick to my stomach most of the day.  It wasn't quite as bad as it was the last time, and I'm hoping the feeling won't return.

As you can read, I'm full of good news this morning.  ;-)  The important thing to remember is that I can only do what I can do.  If I'm eating healthy foods, limiting quantities, journaling my food intake, not eating at night, limiting my sodium, limiting carbs that make me bloated, working out vigorously (when I can) and surrounding myself with people and activities that promote health and wellness, that's all I can do.  I will either lose the weight or I won't....but I'm hoping I do.  :)